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responsibility for their own behavior and rely heavily on the mate for direction and motivation. Such individuals may require constant approval, attention, and encouragement for any self initiated or independent activities (Billie S Ables 11). They may react with much distress if these are absent, give up any efforts, and become depressed. Needless to say, this takes its toll on a relationship. Their best chance to correct this behavior is to learn how to be on their own. This involves the ability to govern their behavior according to their own rather than another s wishes, to rely on their own resources, and to feel sufficiently comfortable and confident in their own right. This requires disengagement physically and psychologically from parents, and reliance primarily upon themselves for direction and self-esteem.Fearing rejection, pain, unfamiliar experiences, and having no faith in their ability, nor even their right to inspire love, they wait, wish and hope for love. When unrecognized needs are being met and this is true for both partners, marriages often persist in the face of intolerable distress. The strength of such magnetic ties which hold a couple together is dependent on the extent of the collusion, and the strength of the need in one spouse to avoid behaving in certain ways which are viewed as belonging only to the other mate. Such binding ties help us to understand why it is so difficult for many couples to break up, despite years of haggling, misery, and apparent irreconcilable differences. Rationalizations, such as staying together for the sake of the children or because of moral injunctions, often hide the more compelling need each partner has for the other. We should all thank our Creator that He gave us the ability to grow inwardly as well as physically, to love instead of to hate and to live instead of merely to exist (Tom R. Blaine 133). When respecting each other s uniqueness and individuality, people are both more able to give ourselves to the relationship (Susan M. Campbell 119). As life continues, people continue to expand the boundaries of our identities. Throughout our experiences; communication in our relationships is no doubt the key to success or failure.